Salt

Spoiler lite review...






Angelina Jolie's latest foray as an action heroine opens with her getting beaten up by North Korean soldiers who accuse her of being a US spy and sprout such gems as, "You are here to sabotage our nuclear ambitions!" Falsely protesting her innocence, Evelyn Salt gets beaten up further but is later unexpectedly released in exchange for some old Korean guy as she is escorted out by CIA agent Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber) to be reunited with her devoted husband Mike Krause (August Diehl).

Some time later back in the States, Salt and Ted spend a regular day at the office as CIA agents masquerading as petroleum company executives. Just as they're about to leave for the day, a Russian defector, Vassily Orlov (Daniel Olbrychski), walks in offering information about sleeper Russian agents out to DESTROY AMERICA. It seems that during the Cold War, the Russians had camps where children were trained as super spies with the intention to replace actual American children whose families met with unfortunate "accidents" while visiting Russia. One of these agents is about to kill the Russian president who is visiting America for the funeral of the American vice president. Chalking this up to a well-known Cold War myth, Winters and visiting counter-intelligence officer Peabody (Chiwetel Ejiofor) call bullsh*t until Orlov names Salt as the sleeper agent in question.

Salt defends her innocence again but Peabody still wants to question her. Fearing for her husband's life, she escapes from the office even as Orlov himself escapes custody. Winters firmly believes in Salt's loyalty to the nation although Peabody does not share his view. Being overly well-trained, Salt manages to elude the CIA in a series of high-octane chase sequences.

Her motives come under question as she carries out the assassination of the Russian president, sparking an international incident. She then returns to Orlov who is revealed as the head of the Spy Kids program. So the questions remain: Who is Salt? Is she really an evil Russian spy? Will she redeem herself? Are those lips real?

The plot of the film borders on the absurd and is riddled with spy-movie cliché and some improbable plot points (apparently, the North Koreans allow you unfettered access if you're a foremost authority on spiders). The double/triple/quadruple-crossing gets a bit ridiculous at some point. The movie is redeemed by the tightly wound action sequences and Jolie's usual ass-kicking action heroine performance which is better than ever here. The chase scenes, explosions, and Salt's stunts make for an enjoyable, if somewhat short action flick.

Lunch at Alexis

We went to TMPoint in Bangsar to apply to upgrade my internet connection to 4Mbps (yay). Since we were in the area, we decided to have lunch at Alexis Bistro on Telawi Street. We started with sauteed mushroom 'tapas'. It was a hearty bowl of sauteed button mushrooms in a creamy garlic sauce. It was full of mushroomy goodness. The toasted rolls served with it were also quite nice.



The first main course was Chicken Escalope. Apparently an 'escalope' is a boneless piece of meat that has been thinned out by bashing it flat. In this case, it was breaded and served with roasted cherry tomatoes. It was fairly good, with the outside crispy and the inside soft and juicy. The side salad had an almond oil dressing I believe.



The second main course was a Chicken and Mushroom Pie. It was a flaky pastry served in a porcelain bowl. A creamy sauce accompanied generous chunks of chicken and mushrooms. It was nice but the pastry was hard to get at since it stuck to the lip of the bowl. It also came with an enormous serving of fries.



For drinks we had honeydew juice which was thick and fresh, and a cup of mango-flavoured tea which came in a cute little jug.



The last and most fun part of a meal: Dessert!
We had a Mixed Berries Meringue. It consisted of a layer of light fluffy cream drizzled with blueberries, sandwiched between thin wafer pieces, then topped with another layer of cream and fresh strawberries and blueberries. It was really really good. It's the first 'meringue' I've had, and I can safely say that it won't be the last :)



At RM122 for two people, it's definitely on the steep side, but at least it was good. Truth be told, I'm probably not high-class enough for this place, but it's nice to live above your station once in a while ;)

Despicable Me

I'd seen a few trailers and posters for this animation and was looking forward to watching it, mainly due to the funny-looking yellow dudes in the posters. The show proved to be worth watching beyond those little guys alone.

Spoiler-heavy review ahead...







Sadly, I missed the opening scenes of the movie because I was late to the cinema. I understand it included the theft of a pyramid. The protagonist (sorta) of the movie is a master criminal known as Gru (Steve Carell), or at least he likes to think of himself as a master criminal. He didn't steal the pyramid, but he wishes he had. Seeking his mother's (Julie Andrews) approval his whole life, Gru concocts a plan to STEAL THE MOON. With a plan in place, all he needs is funding from The Bank of Evil (formerly Lehman Brothers) to realise his plans. In the waiting room of the bank, he meets a nerdy criminal called Vector (Jason Segel) who tries to befriend Gru much to his annoyance. The bank manager, Mr. Perkins (Will Arnett) - who looks suspiciously like the PHB from Dilbert - agrees to continue funding him if manages to get the shrink ray gun essential to his plan to shrink the moon before stealing it. Perkins warns Gru that this is his last chance before the bank starts investing in younger criminal minds like Vector who was the one behind the pyramid theft. On the way out, Gru uses his freeze-ray gun to freeze Vector's head... just because.

With the help of the Minions (really, that's what they're called), Gru successfully locates and steals the shrink-ray gun from a Secret Lab in East Asia (we do like tiny things). Unfortunately it's stolen right back from him by Vector who is a little bitter about having his head frozen. Gru attempts in vain to gain entry into Vector's fortress to obtain the shrink ray. He's about to give up when he spots three little orphan girls selling cookies who easily gain access to the fortress (Vector can't resist coconutties).

Gru decides to adopt the girls in order to use them to smuggle cookie-robots (cute) to get the shrink-ray gun. The plan succeeds, although not without a few problems. An amusement park offers Gru the opportunity to abandon the girls so he can get on with his plan. However, as movie convention dictates, Gru bonds with the girls and he grows attached to them. He keeps them on for the time being while he and his resident mad scientist, Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand) work on the rocket to bring Gru to the moon.

Dr. Nefario soon finds that the girls are distracting Gru from their plan and arranges to have them returned to the orphanage, breaking his and their hearts. Gru presses on with his plans and succeeds in shrinking and grabbing the moon, despite Vector's attempts to stop him. Going back to Earth to try to make it to the girls' ballet recital, Gru finds out that Vector has kidnapped the girls and wants the moon as ransom. Gru of course agrees, but Vector goes back on his word to return the girls, setting off a daring rescue by Gru. It goes without saying that everything ends well for Gru and the girls.

The movie seems quite derivative of Pixar movies with likeable and cute characters (one of the girls closely resembles Boo from Monsters Inc). Considering it as a homage rather than a copy, this movie executes the familiar formula well and was very enjoyable. It has heart and more than a few laughs. Carell gives a funny performance with a Russian-ish accent. The 3D effects are fully exploited and even includes some in-credits messing around with the 3D effects by the Minions (who are really cute and speak their own pseudo-language).

This show was produced by a company called Illumination Entertainment (apparently their first). It's rare these days to see a good CGI animation not from Pixar or Dreamworks. It's good to know that some smaller players are still in the game and producing good stuff. With this and the recent shows from the big two, the future of CGI animation is looking bright.

I write like...

So apparently, I write like Shakespeare.

I write like
William Shakespeare

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I didn't know Shakespeare wrote about mean wolves, but who am I to argue with a Bayesian algorithm.

Brunch at Marché

Marché is an interesting Swiss restaurant found at The Curve. Its mascot is a green cow and it features a 'market' where you can order food at various stalls and they will prepare it for you on the spot. Last Saturday, we arrived early for the two movies of the day (Frozen and Knight and Day) so we decided to have brunch here as most places weren't really open yet.

After receiving our 'passports' (you get them stamped for each order), we went right to it. For starters we had sautéed mushrooms. These Swiss button mushrooms were really... mushroomy. If you like mushrooms, you'll like this.



Adding to the mushroom fest was a mixed mushroom ragout. This was various types of mushroom in a creamy mushroom sauce (tasted a lot like a very thick mushroom cream soup). It was quite nice but not as flavourful as the sautéed mushrooms.




For a main course, I had grilled chicken breasts with mushroom sauce accompanied by a gourmet mushroom chicken sausage. The chicken was well seasoned and grilled nicely if a bit on the dry side. The sauce went well with it. The sausage was very tasty and had strong flavour. Both very good indeed.



Our second main course was a grilled whole chicken thigh with mushroom sauce and homemade mashed potato. The chicken was not bad, and not great. I've had better...



We had some sides too! First there's the mushroom soup. Sadly, it was quite disappointing. One of the poorer mushroom soups I've had in my lifelong sampling of mushroom-related foods. It was oddly creamy and oily like there was butter in it or something. Oh well...



We finally tried the rosti after having stared at it the last few times we came here. Strips of fried potato made  into a flat bread-like thing. Not bad, but a little plain. Perhaps we'll try other varieties next time.



Our drinks were ice blended hazelnut (lovely) and some sort of pineapple juice concoction (meh).



Last and certainly not least: dessert crepe! Made with hazelnut chocolate sauce on the inside, then wrapped around fresh strawberries. Vanilla ice cream and chocolate sprinkles complete the dish. It was excellent. Highly recommended.



On the whole, it was a pretty good meal. A word of advice when dining here: try not to order everything at once, however strong the temptation may be. It gets cold...

Knight and Day

I saw the trailer to this film and thought it would be fun. I was right.
Minor spoilers follow.






The opening scene has Roy Miller (Tom Cruise) walking through an airport, doing airporty stuff. He seems to be looking for someone and spots June Havens (Cameron Diaz) who is on her way home to Boston to attend her sister's wedding. Having seemingly found his target, he arranges to "accidentally" bump into her a couple of times, all the while flashing a charming Tom Cruise smile. She gets refused at the boarding gate and Roy cryptically tells her that sometimes things happen for a reason as he boards the plane. However, someone is watching them and arranges for her to get on board. Once on the strangely empty plane, they flirt a little and when June goes to the restroom, Roy fights and kills all the passengers and crew on board including the pilots. June is understandably freaked out when she finds all this while Roy tries to land the plane on a highway. After crash-landing, Roy drugs her and she wakes up in bed in her own apartment.

Then things start to get weird.

Federal agents show up to take June into protective custody, telling her that Roy is a CIA agent gone rogue after killing several scientists and stealing government property. Roy shows up to "rescue" her from the feds, despite her reservations. Not sure who to trust, June has no choice but to follow Roy as he tries to protect a McGuffin called 'The Zephyr' and its inventor Simon Feck (Paul Dano) who appears to be some sort of savant. Along the way, some romance predictably blossoms and June finds herself oddly enjoying their life-threatening escapades.

The plot is quite common and fairly nonsensical. This movie banks mainly on the stunts and the star power of the two leads. In that respect, they deliver. Cruise oozes charisma as the wisecracking spy who is always cheerful and nonchalant however dire the situation is. Diaz too is very effective as the reluctant heroine and is very charming as she usually is. They work well together and share a convincing chemistry. The action sequences were frenetic and fun to watch. They don't make lighthearted action movies like this much these days; most films are tinged with a bit of darkness. It probably won't be very memorable, but it's a welcome distraction.

Frozen

I went into this movie never having heard of it before. I'm not really a huge fan of survival horror (or even horror in general). This film was decent enough for the genre, even if there weren't really many surprises or anything new.

Major spoilers follow. Be warned.








The movie is about three college students who are out on a weekend skiing trip. Joe (Shawn Ashmore) and his best friend Dan (Kevin Zegers) have been going skiing together for a long time. This time, they bring along Dan's girlfriend Parker (Emma Bell), to Joe's moderate annoyance. Through a series of unfortunate events, the trio get stranded on a ski-lift chair. At first they joke about it, but soon realize that they are truly stuck there and noone will be coming back to the lodge for a week. As expected, panic ensues, culminating in a (rather foolish) attempt by one of the three to get help by jumping off the chair. The resulting massive (and somewhat improbable) injuries are complicated by the arrival of a pack of wolves and... well I think you can figure it out.

The remaining two brood about it for a night or so, then try to get off the lift by using the (apparently razor sharp) cable to get to a maintenance ladder. As before, the wolves complicate matters further (darned wolves!). I won't lay out the ending but suffice to say, it's quite predictable who does or does not survive.

For a genre film, it was quite good. There were moments that were tense and cringe-worthy, even if some of the injury effects were not done very well and I swear that one body looked like a side of beef. The acting from Zegers (always the Air Bud boy to me), Ashmore (Ice-man in the X-Men films), and newcomer Bell was quite good and effective in portraying the reaction to the situation. The film runs a little short at 94 minutes but the time was well used.


Things I learned from Frozen:

1. Wolves are mean.
2. You should always carry a cellphone.
3. Ski-lift cables are really really sharp.
4. Jumping 50 feet onto a mountain is not a good idea.
5. The mounting screws on ski-lift chairs suck.
6. Ski-lift operators do not perform any checks to see if anyone is still on the lift before closing.